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I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

by Dave Barry
I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

by Dave Barry

Overview

I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier—and a lot funnier.

Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process—with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780425238981
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/05/2011
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 218,931
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

About The Author
From 1983 to 2004, Dave Barry wrote a weekly humor column for The Miami Herald, which in 1988 won a Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. He is the author of more than thirty books, including such bestsellers as the nonfiction Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer Is Much Faster), You Can Date Boys When You're Forty, and I'll Mature When I'm Dead; the novels Big Trouble, Tricky Business, and Insane City; the very successful YA Peter Pan novels (with Ridley Pearson); and his Christmas story The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog. Two of his books—Big Trouble and Dave Barry's Guide to Guys—have been turned into movies. For a while, his life was even a television series, Dave's World, but then it was canceled. The series. Not the life. For many years, Dave was also a guitarist with the late, infamous, and strangely unlamented band the Rock Bottom Remainders.

Hometown:

Miami, Florida

Date of Birth:

July 3, 1947

Place of Birth:

Armonk, New York

Education:

B.A. in English, Haverford College, 1969

Website:

http://www.davebarry.com

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

The Elephant and the Dandelion: (A Defense of Men) 1

If You Will Just Shut Up, I Can Explain: A Man Answers Questions from Women 15

The Heart of Dadness: A Letter to a First-Time-Father-to-Be 31

Dance Recital 45

Technology 53

Solving the Celebrity Problem 65

Tips for Visiting Miami: No. 1: Are You Insane? 79

Dog Ownership for Beginners 93

My Hollywood Career: The Big Dumpster 105

24: The Ultimate Script 127

The Full Coward Package 157

The Health-Care Crisis: Wash Your Hands After Reading This 167

Colonoscopy 187

A Practical, Workable Plan for Saving the Newspaper Business: I Sure Don't Have One 199

Judaism for Christians 215

Fangs of Endearment: A Vampire Novel 225

A Festival of Grimness 253

Father of the Groom 265

What People are Saying About This

P.J. O'Rourke

We in the print media are seeing our world collapse around us. There aren't enough newspapers left to line the bottom of a canary cage. Magazines are thinner than my hair. And 'writing' is done only on Wii. But here's Dave Barry, flourishing like never before, with a book that's funnier than ever, greeted with clamorous demand by eager hordes of fans. Let's kill him.

Steve Martin

I'm am so please to have received an advance copy of Dave's book and use most of the material myself. He is truly the funniest man living in the 3 mile "safe" zone off the shores of America.

Carl Hiaasen

Despite years of medication, Dave Barry is still the funniest damn writer in the whole country. Let's hope he never grows up.

From the Publisher

"Despite years of medication, Dave Barry is still the funniest damn writer in the whole country. Let's hope he never grows up."
-Carl Hiaasen

"Dave Barry's best book so far, which is saying a lot."
-P.J. O'Rourke

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Humor
American Humor - Peoples & Cultures
Essays and Individual Humorists
Phases of Life - Humor
Psychology & Self Help - Humor

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