Table of Contents
Part I Understanding Humans 01
Introduction: This Is Not Your Grandfather's Homo Sapiens 02
The Basics 07
Part II Species-specific Survival Guides 25
Frequently Asked Questions about Snacking and Mortality: A Zombie's Guide to Filling the Emptiness and Moving Forward 26
Swamp Monster Makeovers: Fabulous Species - Defying Transformations to Win Friends and Confuse People 37
First-Time Haunter's Guide for Ghosts, Spirits, Poltergeists, Specters, and Wraiths : How to Evict Squatters, Stay on Top of Mansion Disrepair, and Avoid Going to the Light 48
Self-Training 101 for Werewolves: Sit, Don't Speak, Stay Alive! 62
Decode Angry Feelings Using C++: A. Workbook for Androids and Cyborgs 75
Home Safety for Mummies: Welcome to the Third Eye Tomb Security System 92
The 6(66) Habits of Highly Effective Witches: Powerful Lessons in Survival Management 120
"What's Happening to My Body?": Radioactive Mutants and the Safety of the Nuclear Family 134
USA! USA!: Exceptionally Large Beings and the Unanticipated Stress of Acknowledgment (Large Print Edition) 148
The Benefits of Collaborative Consumption: A New Employee Handbook for Swarms, Flocks, Schools, Droves, Broods, Colonies, Murders, and Hordes 170
Sheltering and Aging in Place: Tech Made Easy for Vampires 191
Appendix I A Compendium of Human Repellants 211
Appendix II A Field Guide to Humans 225
Appendix III Tables and Illustrations on the Human Temperament 241
Acknowledgments 248
About the Author 249