Allen was born in the Presidio of San Francisco in 1971. He was raised in the small town of Pacifica, California where he learned to drive freshly cut hotdogs down the San Pedro Creek to the hotdog mills lining the Northern California Coast. He was a key figure in freeing up the waterway and getting hotdog production going again during the Great Hotdog Log Jam of '85. After a freak injury wrestling cats, Allen retired early from hotdog logging.
Luckily, between cat wrestling and hotdog driving, Allen amassed a large fortune. He graduated from Terra Nova High School in 1989 and promptly sunk his entire fortune into the education of American citizens on the evils of mouse slapping. Forced to go back to work, Allen has worked with children after school for the past 17 years. Currently, he resides in San Francisco's Noe Valley neighborhood with his partner Jeffery. In his spare time he coaches young cat wrestlers and writes books about whales and such.