Uh-oh. The guy who works at the record boutique -- the Simon Reynolds-quoting one who refused to buy back your copy of Goo because "major-label Sonic Youth is, like, just as evil as Winger" -- has made a record about how he has lost his edge to "the kids." He can't really sing, so he works up his best Mark E. Smith/Gil Scott-Heron impersonation and can't decide whether he should beat his brow, boast, or mock his peers. So he seems to do all three. He points out that he consulted Captain Beefheart, he prides himself for being the first to play Daft Punk at CBGBs, and he ribs a band for swapping guitars for turntables. He runs through a lengthy list of anything that has ever been declared cool by a hipster in the last several years and in the process provides the snide music-geek equivalent of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if..." routine. This laff riot is backed by a persistent rhythm box and a fuzz bass riff that occasionally works itself into a punctuative lather and recedes. The protagonist might want to listen to Velvet Underground demos and sulk in his bedroom if he were told that the B-side, "Beat Connection," has just as much in common with Romeo Void's "Never Say Never" as something off Disco Not Disco. It's a compliment, but who knows how he'd take it? Chanted vocals about sexual frustrations ("It's the saddest night out in the U.S.A." is the catch phrase) ride a blitzing post-punk rhythm with weary keyboard effects. It's just as phenomenal as the A-side and possibly prevents the outfit from being lumped in with cutout pranksters like the Dead Milkmen and King Missile. ~ Andy Kellman