Awayland

Awayland

by Ramona Ausubel

Narrated by Various

Unabridged — 5 hours, 26 minutes

Awayland

Awayland

by Ramona Ausubel

Narrated by Various

Unabridged — 5 hours, 26 minutes

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Overview

An inventive story collection that spans the globe as it explores love, childhood, and parenthood with an electric mix of humor and emotion.

Acclaimed for the grace, wit, and magic of her novels, Ramona Ausubel introduces us to a geography both fantastic and familiar in eleven new stories, some of them previously published in The New Yorker and The Paris Review. Elegantly structured, these stories span the globe and beyond, from small-town America and sunny Caribbean islands to the Arctic Ocean and the very gates of Heaven itself. And though some of the stories are steeped in mythology, they remain grounded in universal experiences: loss of identity, leaving home, parenthood, joy, and longing.

Crisscrossing the pages of Awayland are travelers and expats, shadows and ghosts. A girl watches as her homesick mother slowly dissolves into literal mist. The mayor of a small Midwestern town offers a strange prize, for stranger reasons, to the parents of any baby born on Lenin's birthday. A chef bound for Mars begins an even more treacherous journey much closer to home. And a lonely heart searches for love online--never mind that he's a Cyclops.

With her signature tenderness, Ramona Ausubel applies a mapmaker's eye to landscapes both real and imagined, all the while providing a keen guide to the wild, uncharted terrain of the human heart.

Audiobook Table of Contents:
"You Can Find Love Now," read by Kirby Heyborne with Emily Rankin
"Fresh Water From the Sea," read by Rebecca Lowman
"Template for a Proclamation to Save the Species," read by Danny Campbell
"Mother Land," read by Cassandra Campbell
"Departure Lounge," read by Kate Rudd
"Remedy," read by Karissa Vacker
"Club Zeus," read by Macleod Andrews
"High Desert," read by Amanda Carlin
"Heaven," read by Vikas Adam
"The Animal Mummies Wish to Thank the Following," read by Bruce Mann
"Do Not Save the Ferocious, Save the Tender," read by Mark Bramhall


Editorial Reviews

APRIL 2018 - AudioFile

The first draw to this collection is a cyclops who is developing his dating profile (aided by THE cheeriest saleswoman), but stay to survey all of AWAYLAND. Hear the tale of a woman who is trying to have a baby with a friend (it was “a better escape” than being a chef on “fake Mars”) and the one of the dying lover who is determined to have her hand grafted onto her boyfriend’s. The “gratitude” shown by the animal mummies is hilarious, and cheekily voiced in a British accent. The listener may prefer some tales over others, but the voices for each are good matches, like the wiser-than-his-years teenage boy who is working at a Turkish resort. A grieving mother is voiced gravely, with anxiety and pain. The terrain is strange, the themes are many, and the narrations are smooth guides. M.P.P. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine

The Barnes & Noble Review

In Ramona Ausubel's second collection of short fiction, Awayland, things both are and aren't what they seem. A mother fades to mist before her grieving daughter. A Cyclops fills out an online dating profile. A cook leaves her job preparing food for astronauts in training for a Mars mission, only to find herself in a different sort of alien world, filled with donors and surrogates and in vitro fertilization; "If I wanted a baby," she observes, "there was a planet of white-coated scientists together with the lush, young wombs of poorer women. All I had to do was travel there." The point, or one of them, is that every landscape is strange or unknown, perhaps especially if it is a landscape we have created for ourselves. "The rest of the afternoon," Ausubel observes of the woman and her disappearing parent, "the girl and her mother did what people do: went on in spite of what had changed."

What Ausubel is evoking is love, which animates Awayland like the beating of a secret heart. Her characters can't get along without it, although it is a source of turmoil and upheaval in their lives. Take Lucy, the protagonist of "Mother Land," who moves from California to Africa with her boyfriend (known as "the African") because she wants to be close to him, only to end up distanced from herself. "The African fell asleep just after dusk and woke at dawn," Ausubel begins the story. "In late summer, when Lucy had met him in Los Angeles, this was reasonable. Long days, short nights. By mid- October, she felt half abandoned." In Africa, dependent and unmoored, unable even to speak the language, "Lucy was the only thing she had not considered: meaningless." Still, isn't that the case with all of us? We create distinctions, Ausubel insists, that are nothing if not arbitrary, then cling to them as if they define something essential about who we are. The reality, Lucy realizes, as she and the African visit zebras at a game preserve, is that "[t]here was no separation between human and animal. All any of them were was skin and fur, muscle and oxygen, the ability to ear, to run, to raise their young."

There's more than a bit of the fairy tale to such a moment, with its blurring of the line between animal and human, and its air of removal from a familiar world. Something similar takes place in many of Awayland's eleven stories, which situate themselves between naturalism and fantasy. There's that Cyclops, for instance, looking for love among the circuits of the Internet -- he is both mythic, of his own species, and also in some way of ours. "I will not shackle your slender wrists to the cold walls or gnaw your nails down to the quick with my remaining teeth," he promises. "I will not leave you hungry while I eat a roast goat at your feet. I've dealt with those issues." In "Remedy," a dying woman and her husband travel to Thailand for shared hand replacement surgery; "the only way to love your love after you die," she imagines, "is to give him one of your hands." Even "Club Zeus," narrated by an American teenager working for the summer at a Turkish resort, veers into the unexpected when a tourist dies in one of the swimming pools. "The fat Russian man did not even exist to me this morning," the boy insists." But now, by afternoon, he is singular, and he will be in my life forever. I will bring him to bed with me tonight, his face down form floating in the pool of my mind. He will come to my last year of high school, maybe appear in my college essay, will be one of the stories I tell a beautiful girl I have a crush on to make her love me."

The idea, of course, is that all we are, all we have, are stories; without them, we might . . . well . . . evaporate. It's a faith Ausubel shares with Kelly Link, whose work also traverses a line between the concrete and the fantastic, drawing real emotion, real depth, from situations that can be deliriously extreme. "The Animal Mummies Wish to Thank the Following" operates as an annotated list, in which the mummified creatures at Cairo's Egyptian Museum offer gratitude (but do they really?) to the donors, tourists, and others who keep them rooted to the world. "If the cat mummies must be grateful for one thing," Ausubel explains, "it is that they are forever-cats and not forever-rodents. The cat mummies can think of nothing so embarrassing as that -- the great gift a vole gets is, finally, to die." Even in the afterlife, in other words, the hierarchies remain. "The girl remembered the water cycle: evaporation, condensation, precipitation," she tells us at the end of "Fresh Water from the Sea," that story of the mother who turns to vapor. "A storm broke over the girl, thunderheads, lightning, rain and rain and rain and rain."

That's a lovely image, one that, for all its roots in dissolution, reminds us that we might find reconciliation of a kind. That this doesn't always look the way we expect goes without saying; just ask those cat mummies in the museum. This is the challenge of stories, that they offer us meaning, closure even -- but only for a little while. In the end, we die, or those around us do, leaving us drenched in emotion, and also memory. Ausubel makes the point explicit in "High Desert," among the most moving stories in the collection, which wrestles with an irreconcilable loss. "Two thousand years after her people left Jerusalem and eighty years after they left Turkey and twenty-nine years after the death of her daughter," she writes, "the woman walks down the desert road and she feels her body letting go of her." The sentence is full of echoes: mothers and daughters, and Turkey, and the sense of a woman adrift within her life. The body here, as throughout the book, is not a burden exactly but certainly a veil. And yet, after the mother has a hysterectomy, she is visited by her long-drowned daughter -- another blurring of the boundaries or maybe a hallucination, who can tell? "Don't tell me if you suffered," the mother asks her. "Don't tell me what it was like in the water before you got used to it."

This, in the end, is all we can hope for, that our loved ones do not suffer, whatever else may happen to them. As for the rest, it's inexplicable, a source of wonder and terror, the mystery at the center of the world. Such a mystery inflects the stories in Awayland, weighting them like wishes cast against the void. Or, as Ausubel writes, describing mummies so dead they no longer have bodies: "The nothing mummies are filled with prayers written on slips of papyrus, organs of faith. If the scientists came and cut them open, the nothing mummies wonder: Would the little piece of hieroglyphed papyrus rolling out be any less beautiful than the dried raisin of a heart? Aren't they not only the container but the prayer itself?"

David L. Ulin is the author of Sidewalking: Coming to Terms with Los Angeles. A 2015 Guggenheim Fellow, he spent ten years as book editor and book critic of the Los Angeles Times.

Reviewer: David L. Ulin

The New York Times Book Review - Rebecca Lee

…Ramona Ausubel's excellent and peculiar story collection…charts ever more steadily her interest in relationships, particularly within a family. These are not normal families, not happy or sad families, but families so cracked and mythologically weird that they are more like interesting old ruins. They are families as written by Hans Christian Andersen with the poetry of Auden, both of whom used fairy-tale imagery to explain our suffering. ("You shall love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart," Auden wrote in 1937, in what could be a mantra for Awayland.)…"Come with me and be adored, deep below the earth," one of Ausubel's characters, who happens to be a Cyclops, writes in his dating profile. This doubles as the writer's invitation to the reader to enter her very private, haunting and beautiful worlds.

Publishers Weekly

01/29/2018
Everyday worries about pregnancy, mortality, and parents are given fantastical treatment in these playful stories by Ausubel (Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty). A cyclops builds an online dating profile, a chef joins a journey to Mars, Egyptian animal mummies thank the museum that displays them, and, in “Remedy,” a dying man arranges to have one of his hands grafted onto his true love. There’s an emphasis on eccentrics—as in “Template For a Proclamation to Save the Species,” in which the mayor of a small Minnesota town declares Lenin’s birthday a holiday devoted to sexual procreation—and a distinct predilection for the unexpected: stories feature dissipating mothers, an African menagerie, and a fixer-upper of a house at the juncture between heaven and hell. Ausubel clearly enjoys using the outlandish or mythical to underscore her characters’ predicaments, but sometimes the quirkiness grows tiresome and the air tends to go out of her stories once they have exhausted their magical-realist premises. Still, Ausubel’s best stories have an affecting vulnerability; fans of Kelly Link, Karen Russell, and Miranda July will want to give this a look. (Mar.)

From the Publisher

Excellent and peculiar … Ausubel’s imagination … wants to offer consolation for how ghastly things can get, a type of healing that only reading can provide. All 11 of these stories are deeply involving.” New York Times Book Review

“Anxious, whimsical, and deeply felt, Ausubel’s stories weave a remarkable and beautiful tapestry of emotion... Ausubel’s signature ability to create atmosphere is in full force throughout Awayland, and the surreal or discomfiting moods sometimes wrapped around the stories are fitting for characters moving away from their comfort zones. By also touching upon social and political issues, she adds a new layer to her work that invites readers to move away from their comfort zones as well.” –Los Angeles Review of Books

“A stunning assemblage of quasi-magical yet bewilderingly plausible tales … Every story here pretty much astounds for its daring, visionary scope and compassion.” San Francisco Chronicle

“[Ausubel] imbues every one of her offbeat yarns...with weirdness and warmth.” –O, The Oprah Magazine

“[A] collection of funny, endearing short stories…Each tale looks to the future in its own particular, touching way.” –Harper’s Bazaar

“A tenderly imagined story collection, one that traverses small towns and tropical islands, all the while revealing truths about parenthood, love, and growing up that you didn’t know you needed to hear, but are so immensely glad you did.” –Southern Living

“Fans of [Ramona Ausubel] and new readers alike will discover something to enjoy in Awayland… An eclectic, humorous mix.” Real Simple

“To read an Ausubel story is to escape to another place…[her] prose is assured and...lovely, descriptions and insights presented in new and different ways.” –Ploughshares

“A darkness, an underlying and beautiful darkness, limns practically every moment in Ausubel’s work, but you hardly notice the darkness while reading, so dreamily enchanted are you by Ausubel’s language, her humor, her generosity on the page.”Manuel Gonzales, Electric Literature

“Tender and heartfelt, Awayland is often also as funny as it is emotionally affecting.” –Buzzfeed

“The precise word for the stories in Awayland is enchanting… What remains consistent in this globetrotting collection is Ausubel’s wit, and her tenderness, and her commitment to exploring universal quandaries in fabulist ways. Each of these stories shines.” –Refinery29

"The stories in Ramona Ausubel's Awayland are galactic in scope, massive in scale, and universal in their flawless execution. From Mars to the streets of the Midwest, Ausubel tackles modern mythology in a way that is utterly original and endlessly fascinating—and, at the end of the day, it just might teach you something about yourself.” Popsugar

“When a book opens with a Cyclops filling out an online dating profile, you know the collection of stories will not disappoint. Ausubel's stories mix familiarity with weirdness, leaving room for concrete concepts we understand (family, love, finding home) to mix with more off-kilter themes, like ghosts and space travel, to create an exciting and heartwarming volume of stories.” –Apartment Therapy

“Insightful and tender and just fun to read. I love these stories.” BookRiot

“Few story collections in recent memory have been as simultaneously funny, sad and peculiar as Ramona Ausubel's breathtaking Awayland… Playful yet affecting, Awayland is the vibrant work of a gifted storyteller.” Shelf Awareness
 
“With touches of magic and fabulism, this is Ausubel at her finest.” Read It Forward

“[Ausubel’s] writing is acrobatic: colorful, flexible and inventive…Formally and thematically, this creative collection will be a rewarding expedition for both veteran short story readers and newcomers to the genre.” The Riveter

“Ramona Ausbel’s second short story collection continues to prove her a surprising, funny, and deft fabulist.” B&N Reads

“Told in prose at once spare and image-laden, the stories are illuminating and memorable, with plots unfolding like exotic flowers, calm yet bizarre.” Library Journal, starred review

“Everyday worries about pregnancy, mortality, and parents are given fantastical treatment in these playful stories… Ausubel’s best stories have an affecting vulnerability; fans of Kelly Link, Karen Russell, and Miranda July will want to give this a look.” Publishers Weekly

“Eleven stories laced with humorous developments, mythic tendencies, and magical realist premises. Ausubel is, at heart, a fabulist, and the current collection puts this impulse in the forefront.” –Kirkus

“In vivid, precisely fashioned language, Ausubel spans the globe, from the tropics to the Arctic, in these 11 stories…Vibrant stories that expand horizons and minds.” Booklist
 


Kirkus Reviews

2017-12-07
Eleven stories laced with humorous developments, mythic tendencies, and magical realist premises.Ausubel (Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty, 2016, etc.) is, at heart, a fabulist, and the current collection puts this impulse in the forefront. The stories are grouped in four sections with geographical names—Bay of Hungers, The Cape of Persistent Hope, The Lonesome Flats, and The Dream Isles. Among the "hungers" is a funny piece previously published in the New Yorker: an online dating profile filled out by a Cyclops. It is followed by a more melancholy tale: a woman's mother is inexorably fading away—not metaphorically, but actually disappearing. Third is "Template for a Proclamation to Save the Species," in which a Midwestern mayor tries to address his town's declining population by declaring a designated sex day and offering a prize—a tiny white Ford economy car—for babies born exactly nine months later. The stories in the next section continue the baby theme. "Mother Land" seems to be about the sister of the woman whose mother faded away, though this appears to be the only such linkage among the stories. She has a baby with a white African man, in Africa, and feels very cut off from her real life. In "Departure Lounge," a woman quits her job as chef to a space program project being carried out on the crater of a volcano in Hawaii to attempt to get pregnant with an old college boyfriend. It turns out high-tech measures will be required. Many of the stories are both interesting and amusing; some are a little juvenile, like "Remedy," a silly yarn about lovers whose doomed love drives them to have a transplant operation. But this is followed by one of the gems of the collection, "Club Zeus," narrated by a young man who works at a mythology-themed resort. "Most of the staff is Ukrainian, but I'm from California. My job is to be the Wizened Storyteller…. I sit in a hut all day and tell Greek myths to whoever comes in."Clever literary games.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940171819859
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Publication date: 03/06/2018
Edition description: Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

You Can Find Love Now

You are lonely, but you don't have to be. You have so many great qualities! Just think of all the single ladies out there who are waiting to hear from you. Whether you are looking for lasting love or just a little fun, this is the only guide to online dating you'll ever need. Within the hour, you'll be on your way to eternal happiness!

Let's get started. When creating your username keep in mind that it should be concise and easy to remember. Make it personal. If you're a dancer, maybe try hipdancer21.

Find me at cyclops15. Cyclops 1 through 14 were taken.

Now choose a tagline that will attract the woman you want. Secret: do what no one else is doing.

I'm eight feet tall and I have one giant eye.

What are your interests? Be honest but enticing.

I hand-sew my own shoes using a needle made from the fang of a wolf. I sleep hot. I want nothing more than a sheet on my bed, even in winter, even in a cave.

Know who your target is. Where does she live? What does she look like? What hobbies does she have?

I like fat girls, old girls, tall girls, tired girls. Girls who lack adequate clothing, girls whose best idea for getting my attention is to send a photo of themselves holding suggestive Popsicles, their fists covered in red melt. Girls in wheelchairs, girls who work professionally at the Renaissance Faire.

You could choose other men: men who like to think about feet, men who have thick back hair, men whose greatest pride is the time they flew to a nearby nation and tried to deplete its stores of alcohol and slept on the beach one night-wasn't that so fun?-and when they woke up everything had been stolen or lost and they had to walk back to the pastel-yellow hotel naked in the early heat of another day in paradise. Everyone has had good times. Everyone has a picture of himself in front of a pinkening sunset with a glass of white wine. Choose them if you want to. Choose me if you want someone to hold you above his head in the moonlight, bite your wrist until the first rust comes out.

Tell the ladies a little more about yourself! What's your own unique story?

The first generation of Cyclopes were forgers. The next generation, my generation, was a band of thuggish shepherds living in the grasslands of Sicily. We trapped so-called hero's in our caves, we bit into the warm butter of a human leg, but the only one who got famous for it was my brother. We still live under volcanoes, hacking at iron, trying to revive the old tradition. I left home-too hot, too old-and live in Washington state. I like the fog, I like the rain. My volcano is more famous than any of my brothers' volcanoes. I never hear from them. They're not on email.

I teach online English classes, not to get paid but because I like to feel smarter than someone else. I teach all the classic books, except The Odyssey.

My photos are taken in profile. Maybe there's time to get braver, to embrace my own unique beauty. I subscribe to the magazines that tell me we are all beautiful, if only we can learn to tap into our potential; I am me and no one else is me, and that is a miracle. I am a miracle.

The downside: my mother has been dead for some hundreds of years, so you'll never meet her. The upside: my father is the god of the sea, so we can guarantee good weather on our honeymoon cruise. He's shitty at love, my dad. He smells like an overcleaned wound, and he won't quit working. Every day and every night somewhere in one of the world's oceans my father is striking the surface of the abyss with swords of fire.

Do you smoke? Do you drink? How often do you exercise? Do you support charities that help animals? With an unexpected bonus would you (a) donate to a cause you really believe in? (b) save half and spend the rest? (c) celebrate with your friends and margaritas?

If you want me to set a trap, I'll set a trap. A first date picking blueberries in the whitest, cleanest sunlight, tin pails. I'll bring sandwiches and chilled Chardonnay and tell you that we are already the good people we wanted to become. Maybe you'll be generous and keep up the conversation all afternoon. Prettykaren98 was generous. Prettykaren98 looked into my eye when we chatted online and laughed at my jokes. But she never answered my messages after our date even though her status was still marked Single.

Don't mention your previous relationship history! Leave your emotional baggage packed and in the closet. You are on the market because you are awesome!

Sorry. Let's try that again. My actual perfect day? Descending belowground early, full of milk and blood and meat, to forge iron. There is no such thing as day or night in the volcano, and any sense of time comes from watching the metal change shape. From ore to spear. From ore to trident. From ore to thunderbolt. If I am strong that day, the mountains will shake with the strike of my hammer, the heat of my flame.

I can't ski. I should be better at basketball than I am. I don't eat vegetables. But my eye is blue, and it's pale and it's beautiful.

My vision is good, though not great, but understand this: I will never again visit an ophthalmologist or an optometrist or anyone else who claims to be an expert of my organ. I do not fit in the chair, and I wish I could forget lying on my back on the floor of that darkened room while a small man climbed onto my chest with that sharp point of light. I'm not sorry for what I did to him. Now he can see for himself what it's like to have one eye.

You have almost finished creating a magnetic online-dating profile that will attract more women than you ever thought possible! What else do you want the ladies to know? Remember: be yourself!

I do remember the old feeling sometimes. A maiden washes up on my island, tailed or otherwise. The cave is sweating and there are mineral stalks growing from the ceiling. I have no idea what time it is, ever. All my wrist and ankle shackles are homemade, struck from iron I myself dug from the earth. The maidens were not as beautiful as the stories tell you-their hair was salt-stringy and their faces were pruned. Too long in seawater can unmake any loveliness. Yet I meant to love them. I meant to tend to their wounds. When I pounded the shackles with my hammer, the person I imagined chaining was my father. I imagined slipping the cuffs around his watery arms. Not to hurt him, but to keep him. But my father never offered himself up on my rocky beach. I'd see his big hand out there sometimes, swilling the surface of the sea, but he never came close. Maybe he was the one who threw the maidens to me, his dear son, his wifeless boy, wanting an heir.

I will not shackle your slender wrists to the cold walls or gnaw your nails down to the quick with my remaining teeth. I will not leave you hungry while I eat a roast goat at your feet. I've dealt with those issues. Imagine the inverse: I have the softest mattress in the world, made of the combed fur of fawns; choose me and you'll be choosing warm oil on your hands and cold water in your glass, meat on your plate from a lamb that suckled on my pinkie when it was first born.

If I came to your house tonight, where would I find you? The living room? The kitchen? Waiting at the door? I'll call you Aphrodite and smell the sea in your hair and shuck oysters for you from the depths. I'll tell you that I've never seen a real goddess until now. Come with me and be adored, deep below the earth. While you sleep, I will strike a huge sheet of metal until the shape of your body comes into relief. You never have to take me to meet your friends; you never have to take me anywhere. You never even have to see me in the light.

Your grandmother will tell you that all the good men are gone, but then here I am, and I'm ready for you.

Fresh Water from the Sea

The woman was weeks away from the end. Maybe even days away.

The phone calls at first were difficult to understand. "You shouldn't worry about this, but I'm getting thinner," she said to her daughter, but instead of the note of excitement the girl expected, the woman sounded lost. "There's less of me." The girl imagined an old woman, her spine collapsing in on itself, giving in to gravity.

"Shrinking?" she asked.

"I'm losing myself," the mother tried. The girl thought of her mother sitting on the floor of her apartment, the expensive rug covered in the puzzle pieces of her body. "It's not like that," the woman had explained. "It's like I'm vanishing. Like I am a thick fog, burning off."

The girl flew across the world: LAX, JFK, then across the Atlantic, across the Mediterranean to Beirut. The mother answered the door. She was slightly wispy. Where she had once been a precise oil painting, now she was a watercolor. "It's good of you to come." She looked the girl up and down and the girl knew her mother was disappointed to see that the girl still looked the way she always had. "Any boyfriends?"

"No boyfriends." The girl tried to smile, tried to keep the old joke alive.

Reluctantly, the woman hugged her and the girl thought, My goodness, has she always had all of those bones?

The mother sat down on the couch in front of the huge windows, looking out at the city and the sea beyond. She patted the spot next to her. "You see it, too, right?" She put her palm up. The girl nodded. It was just the very edges of her mother that were foggy. The girl reached out and held her mother's hand, which felt like it was coated in sea foam. "Good. I'm not going crazy," the woman said.

They sat there quietly. For two days, since her mother had first called, the girl had tried to imagine what she would look like. She had tried to prepare herself for the worst. The words "My mother is vanishing" had been like a loose piece of metal rattling around the cage of her brain. She had felt a little bit of electricity shoot through her system, a jig of hopefulness. Maybe we will actually say something real to each other, she thought. Now, she was wordless. "It's good to see you," the girl said. She stood at the edge, just where she always had.

From her suitcase she removed a jar of peanut butter, a box of cereal bars, oatmeal, pinto beans and a loaf of whole wheat bread. "A little bit of America."

The girl thought she could see a wisp of her mother disappear, right then. "I'm sure it's just . . . something," she said, trying to stop it. The mother, misty, smiled at her daughter.

Out the window, they could see the tops of buildings, the air-conditioning units and heating tubes and collections of wires. The minaret from the mosque craned its neck. Below, café people were sitting with their legs crossed at the ankle and their faces up to the sun. This part of the city had been crumbled in the last war and was built back all at once, the center of the city turned into an overcheerful mall. Plaza and clock tower, cobbled streets radiating out with shops.

"It looks just like California," the girl said. She had taken a class on the American Dream in which the students wrote papers about the exporting of culture.

"At least it's intact," her mother said. She gestured to the other window through which a big hotel stood, its walls yawning with holes, the railings on the balconies mangled. It was so quiet, that bombed-out hotel. How strange, the girl thought, that only the visual evidence of a war is recorded.

Beyond the city, the sea was endless.

The rest of the afternoon, the girl and her mother did what people do: went on in spite of what had changed. They chatted a circle around the outskirts of their lives, they ate something when they got hungry. By the time they went to bed, the woman's blurry edges had become just another fact of the world, a stray cat that, once let in, had made itself at home.

in the morning, the girl and her mother packed up for the doctor's appointment, put on decent-looking clothes. The girl did not say that her mother was a little hazier than she had been the day before. She did not say that, when she came close to her mother, the temperature changed, as if the woman was her own weather system.

The doctor refused to look the mother in the eye or smile, as if doing so would break his calm. He asked a lot of questions that seemed like a way of avoiding what else he had to say. He wanted to know whether she'd been sleeping, and how about the chills, had she had any? And whether her snot, which she reported having a little of, was green or yellow.

"Clear," she told him.

He said, "That's great," with conviction that surprised even him. "I mean," he fumbled, "that's good."

The girl raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Her eyes are fine, too," she said, "and everything's shipshape with her toenails."

"We'll run some blood tests," he said, and they all knew that he meant This is a new way to get there, but the end will be the same. The girl stood up and left the room. She went into the sterile-smelling bathroom and sat down on the toilet and kicked the wall once, hard. It clanked. There was a rubber mark on the wall from the black sole of her sneaker. She opened the little window where the pee samples were supposed to go. It was empty at the moment. She could see, through plastic curtains, technicians adjusting dials on the machines. They appeared as if underwater, breathing miraculously, collecting and testing out the life around them. Determining the lengths of time everyone had left on this alien land. She wanted to ask for forgiveness or clemency. Her mother hardly knew her at all, and she suspected the reverse was also true. She had always expected some midlife understanding, a trip to India in which they wore a lot of loose white clothing, finally revealed their true selves, said all those unsayables. On one of the little paper pee cups, in the marker that was meant to be used to write your name on the sample, the girl scrawled: Give us more time, please. As much as you can spare.

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