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chapter 1

Lizzie

In nearly two hundred years, I've never once wondered how long it takes a vampire to drown.

Now it's all I can think about.

We might be damn near immortal, but we're not unkillable. It would take me longer to succumb to the lack of air than my human counterparts, but I couldn't hold out indefinitely. Eventually the cold sea would rush in and drag me to the depths for good.

Dark thoughts. Morbid thoughts. Impossible to escape while sailing on what amounts to a thimble in an Olympic pool. Everywhere I look, I see water stretching out to the horizon in all directions. Even in my cabin, protected by some kind of pocket dimension magic, I swear I can feel the dip and sway of each wave we crest.

Fixating on drowning, on the feeling I'm experiencing that certainly isn't fear, is still preferable to contemplating the sequence of events that led me to Threshold-more specifically to end up sailing on the Audacity with my ex and the new love of her life.

Only a few months ago, Evelyn was in my bed and making eyes at me. Now it seems like all she can see is that giant of a man who glowers at everyone who comes close. I can't even find fault with his battle prowess; Bowen is a powerful telekinetic and doesn't shy away from using his magic to defend Evelyn and the crew. Taking a hit from him felt like being rammed by a semitruck. I don't crave a repeat experience.

But every time I turn around, I find myself staring at them, analyzing all the ways they're so obviously in love. Comparing it to the way Evelyn and I were . . . and finding the past lacking. She never looked at me like that. I didn't even know I wanted her to, and then the possibility was gone before I realized what I'd lost.

It doesn't matter. It can't matter. I'm destined to marry another bloodline vampire within our extended family, all the better to create progeny to build power and ensure we don't fall behind the other bloodlines. There's little risk of that at this point, but my mother didn't become one of the most powerful vampires in our realm by resting on her laurels. She'd never be content for me to settle with a woman, let alone a human woman. If she knew I was dabbling with Evelyn, she would have killed her on the spot.

"Sickening, isn't it?"

I don't glance over at Nox where they lounge against the helm. They always seem to be lounging, draping their lean body over the nearest available surface. They're captain of the Audacity, and a royal pain in my ass. They see too much and delight in poking and prodding at sore spots. They jerk their chin, and I follow the motion to find Evelyn leaning against Bowen's chest and staring up into his eyes.

The tightness in my chest that never quite goes away squeezes harder. "Fuck off, Nox."

"Lizzie, my darling, at some point you're going to have to make your peace with the fact that you're second best. You could always fall tragically into my bed. The best way to get over an ex is to get under a new one."

Nox is beautiful in a near alien kind of way. Gray eyes, pale skin, white-blond hair cut short on the sides and slightly longer on top, the kind of bone structure to make the angels weep, if they ever existed. They're also one giant complication, and I've had enough of those to last me several lifetimes. "Pass."

"Lizzie, you wound me." They don't sound like they mean it, though. It's just as well. If they were to push in the slightest, I wouldn't hesitate to separate their head from their body, captain or no, elemental magic user or no.

Trust Evelyn to come to a different realm and end up in a plot to overthrow the current power structure. I'm still not quite sure why I haven't left this ship and crew to go my own way, but at least with Nox acting the part of a double agent and working for the rebellion in Threshold, things are never boring. In the three months since I reluctantly joined with the crew, we've fought monsters, ferried refugees to portals that will take them home, and drank our weight in wine in nearly every port we've put in at.

Our current task falls on the rebellion side of things. A week ago, Nox got word on the wind-the literal wind-that one of their assets had been taken by a Cŵn Annwn crew. Technically, we are a Cŵn Annwn crew as well, one of the peace-keeping monster-hunting crews that sail the seas of Threshold.

In reality, Nox and their people would like nothing more than to bring down the Cŵn Annwn and the Council that rules them, as the Cŵn Annwn are like any other policing force across history-inclined to abuse their power over the very people they supposedly protect.

I won't still be around when the rebellion finally takes the fight to the Council. I wish Evelyn wouldn't be, either, but she's up to her nose in this rebellion, and I don't see that changing no matter how many times we argue about it. At least tonight there will be some action to keep boredom at bay. I might even get to murder people soon. That should cheer me right up. "How close are we to the ship that took this asset of yours?"

Nox narrows their eyes, shifting from flirty rake to ruthless captain in the space of a heartbeat. "Close. The Drunken Dragon completes the same circuit from Viedna to Khollu to the Three Sisters and back again. Brady isn't smart enough to know what he has, so he'll still be heading north on the same path he always does. We should be able to catch sight of them on the horizon soon."

All this cloak-and-dagger shit is a pain in the ass. I prefer a more simplified-and hands-on-approach to dealing with my enemies. Sneaking around, pretending to be part of the very group they want to bring down . . . It's all so tedious. Better a bloody fight that lets everyone know who the victor is. If it's bloody enough, you won't have to fight again. Not while the memory is fresh.

If this asset of Nox's was important enough to divert us from our previous course, they should be good enough to take care of themself. "What's so important about this one person that you're willing to risk someone finding out that you're not a perfect little Cŵn Annwn soldier?"

"Maeve is a vital part of our network, and I need her back where she belongs." Nox speaks coldly, but I think I detect a softness under the words. They like this little victim.

"If you say so." I don't really give a fuck about the cause everyone on this crew seems to believe in so strongly. There have been corrupt governments since the beginning of time, and if the rebellion somehow manages to depose the Cŵn Annwn's Council, something even worse will step into the power vacuum left behind.

This rescue mission is wasting my time. I don't care about this asset who's been taken by the Drunken Dragon or whatever noble purpose Nox and Bowen have dragged Evelyn into. The only reason I'm still here is because Threshold is a big watery world, and without a ship and crew of my own, it will take me years to track down the Crimson Hag and my stolen family heirlooms.

I can't go home without them. If I'm even able to go home at all when the portal back to my realm has been destroyed. I push the thought away. There's no point in worrying about how I'll get home until I have the stolen jewels, and I won't have those until I find the Crimson Hag. And before I can do that, we have a damned rescue mission to pull off.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "This Maeve could be dead."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible pessimist?" Nox's grip tightens on the helm. "It's possible that she's dead. But we're going to act like she's not until I have proof otherwise." They curse under their breath. "Maeve's a good girl. People talk to her, share secrets that they never would with a stranger. Even if she wasn't good at her job, she deserves better than to suffer at the hands of Brady and his crew. They're the worst that the Cŵn Annwn have to offer. They should have been put down years ago, but they're too damn good at their job, and the Council ignores any complaints that are filed against them." Nox shakes their head and gives me a mocking smile. "I realize that you don't care about any of this, so I'll stop now."

"Much appreciated," I say dryly. I'm no white knight. If anything, I'm the villain. The people in my life would certainly say so. Without Nox at the helm, I never would have put aside my personal aims to go play savior.

Against my better judgment, my gaze cuts back to Evelyn. She's stopped playing grab-ass with Bowen, and she's currently carving a circle into the deck of the ship. It's supposed to create a shield when triggered, which frees up Bowen to use his telekinetic powers for attack instead of defense. Evelyn is a damned good witch, so I have no doubt it will work.

Her pale skin has tanned a bit in the sun, and her blond hair is nearly to her shoulders now, constantly wavy from the wind and salty air. She laughs more, too. I never noticed how little she laughed when she was with me. She's also taken to pirate fashion wholeheartedly, though she's skipped wearing the traditional Cŵn Annwn crimson in favor of black pants that fit her full thighs and big ass to perfection, and a billowing white top that would be at home on those romance novels she loves so well.

Happiness looks good on her.

I hate it.

"Captain! The Dragon!" The call floats down from the crow's nest.

"Fucking finally," Nox says under their breath before raising their voice to nearly a roar. "Look alive, chaps!"

I give them a sharp look. "Surely you don't mean to attack another Cŵn Annwn ship out in the open?" We might have a crew full of powerhouses, but so do most Cŵn Annwn ships. I don't relish the idea of a sea battle against another ship. The monsters we've come up against in the three months I've been aboard are enough to give me nightmares-not that I'd ever admit it aloud. Give me a fight on solid ground any day of the week. Not this watery bullshit where one wrong move means your enemy might not even have to kill you-the sea will.

"Of course not." They snap their fingers at their navigator, Eyal. He's a tall, lean man with dark brown skin and gorgeous bright blue locs. "Keep us on this course. I don't want it to look like we're in pursuit."

Eyal nods, but I have questions about the order. "We are in pursuit." We're moving fast, too, thanks to the air elemental users on the crew filling the sails with their magic. I can clearly see the Drunken Dragon now. It has to be a ship nearly the same size as ours, and yet it looks no bigger than a quarter. I shudder. I fucking hate the open water.

"You're lucky that you're pretty, darling." Nox leans close. "I can only take one person with me, but I need someone who can do crowd control without risking my asset. We have two options for who that person is. It's you or Bowen. Choose."

I stare. An attack on an entire ship with only two is a massive risk, though both Bowen and I are more than capable of taking out a group of humans within seconds. Except we aren't talking about mundane humans. Most of the Cŵn Annan crews are filled with magic users and paranormal beings, some of whom are easily as powerful as I am. At least in theory.

I should tell Nox to take Bowen. If he dies, then Evelyn can fall weeping into my arms, and . . . I glance at my ex again. She's finished the circle and is sitting on her heels, chatting easily with two crew members.

Happy. She's so fucking happy.

Damn it. "I'll do it."

Nox leans closer. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your noble streak."

I'm not noble. I wouldn't know what noble looked like if it bit me in the ass. "They might have information on the Crimson Hag aboard that ship. I want to get to it before any of your ham-handed crew fucks up my evidence." The sooner I find that ship, the sooner I can get back to the familiar: death and darkness and familial obligation.

"Sure, darling. Whatever you say." Nox once again raises their voice, roaring orders. I follow them to the stern, watching closely as they shrug out of their dramatic crimson coat and hand it off to their quartermaster, Poet. "Keep this safe for me, love." They keep stripping, taking off their crimson vest and crimson shirt, then peeling off their crimson pants. Nox really commits to the bit when it comes to being one of the damned Cŵn Annwn. "These, too."

"You know, your cabin is right there. You don't have to strip out in the open."

"Lizzie, has anyone ever told you that you're a stick-in-the-mud?" I didn't realize Poet brought replacement clothing until Nox pulls on a formfitting black catsuit and grins at me.

"They'll be in your cabin when you get back." Poet-a large woman who looks like she kicks down walls for fun-has broad shoulders and a thick waistline. Her light brown skin is covered with sailing tattoos and her long brown hair is tied back from her strong face. She turns severe dark eyes on me. "Don't get our captain killed."

I smile, baring my teeth. I like Poet for the most part, but she's disgustingly loyal to Nox. "It's your captain's plan. If they die, it's on them."

"Lizzie, you're a constant delight." Nox throws an arm around my shoulders, laughing when I snap my teeth at them. "Truly, I mean it. A constant source of amusement."

They don't give me a chance to formulate a response. They throw their weight backward, toppling us both over the side of the ship. The drop sends my stomach into my throat. The ship is taller than it looks, and it's a long fucking way down.